帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.

帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.
How to Be Successful in Your Life
Hello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk about success.I think everyone want to be successful in life.And how to be successful in your life?First,you should fix a aim.Second,you should try your best to achieve the aim.Third,don't give up!The achievement of a aim comes at a price,it will cost you much time,and you shouldn't think that it's hard to achieve the aim.You should think that you are the best!That's all!Thank you!