英语翻译很多国有企业,尤其是内地的国有企业,由于薪酬水平较低,激励体系不如民营企业灵活,很多核心人员流失,造成企业发展缺

ls的翻译把“激励体系不如民营企业灵活”的原因归结为“薪酬水平较低”不合原文,因为原文是说这两个方面的原因导致了人员流失,这两方面应该是并列关系,而非因果关系,再就是ls的翻译中存在语法问题.一下使我的翻译,仅供lz参考：
Because of low salary and rigid incentive system which is not flexible as the private enterprises,many state-owned enterprises,especially some state-owned enterprises in the Mainland,lose a lot of key members,resulting in a lack of stamina for the enterprise's development.

Many state-owned enterprises, especially state-owned enterprises in the Mainland, just because of low salaries, the incentive system is not flexible as the private enterprises ,so, many of the core staff wastage are lost, and resulting in a lack of staying power for enterprise's developing.