How to protect the environment
How to protect the environment
In the last few years,the environment was destroyed.The water is dirty,and the air is not fresh.We will die if we don't protect the environment.So what could we do?First of all,it’s important to stop driving in cars.We can take the subway or ride a bike instead of it.We shouldn’t dumping rubbish into the river.We will have no water to drink if we continue to dump it into the river.And we shouldn't cut down the trees.Trees can give fresh air to us.The air will be completely polluted,when there aren't any trees in the world.
We only have one world.Let's protect the environment together.
In the last few years,the environment was destroyed.The water is dirty,and the air is not fresh.We will die if we don't protect the environment.So what could we do?First of all,it’s important to stop driving in cars.We can take the subway or ride a bike instead of it.We shouldn’t dumping rubbish into the river.We will have no water to drink if we continue to dump it into the river.And we shouldn't cut down the trees.Trees can give fresh air to us.The air will be completely polluted,when there aren't any trees in the world.
We only have one world.Let's protect the environment together.
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呵呵,你问对人了.我当时高考英语总分142,作文满分.帮你改了很久,希望采纳我的.还有最重要的是作文不在于你写得多,而是要反复修改润色才能提高.总得来说,你的语法上没有什么大问题（就是destroy用的不恰当,因为destroy是完全破坏,无法再生的意思,而在这里说环境太绝对了.）,但是语言方面还需要润色.一方面是告诉你如何修改,另一方面把修改后的文章放在后面.
How to protect the environment
In the last few years, the environment has been damaged seriously. (in the last few years意思是在过去的几年,只要看到它就要用现在完成时.然后把你的destroy换成damage seriously受到严重的破坏）The water gets dirtier and ditier, (把你的is dirty换成gets dirtier and dirtier,这样就会强调这个变脏的过程,否则is dirty很静态）and the air is not fresh. We will not survive if we don't protect the environment.（把die换成not survive,这样显得语言更加高级些) （帮你从这里分开,论述环境被破坏的现象）
So what could we do? First of all, it’s urgent for us to drive cars less. (你说让我们停止开车,这点是不可行的,只能说开少些.再一个就是drive是及物动词,直接说drive cars就可以了,urgent是迫切的意思）We can take the subway or ride a bike instead of it. We shouldn’t dump rubbish into the rivers,(should后面接动词原型,所以把你dumping后面的ing给去掉了）or We will easily run out of the limited water to drink .(帮你把continue to dump..into去掉了,因为你前一句也出现dump..into会显得累赘,另外加了一个run out of短语,用尽的意思.在你的water前面加了一个limited,有限的意思,语言表达更加精确.）Considering that Trees can provide us with fresh air and reduce air pollution ,we are not supposed to cut down the trees endlessly.(1.这一句帮你把should改成了are supposed to,它们两个都是应该的意思,这样你的语言成富有变化.2.而且你这句说我们不应该砍树还是有绝对化的问题,所以帮你加了个endlessly,意思是不要无止尽地砍树,这样更加准确.3.还有帮你把后面树可以给我们提供氧气放到前面去了,还加了一个considering that考虑到...,表原因,这样使你的两个句子连接更紧密,逻辑性更强4.give fresh air to us改成了provide us with fresh air 用provide.. with..更加高级一些）. （这一段从这里分开,这一段主要告诉我们从交通,水源,树木方面来保护环境）
We only share one world. therefore,Let's protect the environment together(结尾重申自己保护环境的立场,同时把你的have改成了share,share相当于have in common,共同拥有的,语言更加高级些,还加了一个therefore(因此）,这样语言逻辑性更强.）
总结一下你写这篇作文的一些不足：1.有些词语用的绝对了些,比如：destroy,stop driving cars,stop cutting down trees.2.语言需要更加富有变化,比如：dump into重复了两遍,should也重复了两遍
3.语言可以用得更高级些,如用share代替了have,用provide..with代替了give
4.注意分段,so what we could do前面的要记得分开.这样你的文章脉络就非常清晰了,第一段引入环境污染的现象,第二段告诉我们环境保护的措施,第三段强调重申我们需要环保
我帮你改后的文章：
How to protect the environment
In the last few years, the environment has been damaged seriously. The water gets dirtier and ditier, and the air is not fresh. We will not survive if we don't protect the environment.
So what could we do? First of all, it’s urgent for us to drive cars less. We can take the subway or ride a bike instead of it. We shouldn’t dump rubbish into the rivers,or We will easily run out of the limited water to drink .Considering that Trees can provide us with fresh air and reduce air pollution ,we are not supposed to cut down the trees endlessly
We only share one world. therefore,Let's protect the environment togethe
How to protect the environment
In the last few years, the environment has been damaged seriously. (in the last few years意思是在过去的几年,只要看到它就要用现在完成时.然后把你的destroy换成damage seriously受到严重的破坏）The water gets dirtier and ditier, (把你的is dirty换成gets dirtier and dirtier,这样就会强调这个变脏的过程,否则is dirty很静态）and the air is not fresh. We will not survive if we don't protect the environment.（把die换成not survive,这样显得语言更加高级些) （帮你从这里分开,论述环境被破坏的现象）
So what could we do? First of all, it’s urgent for us to drive cars less. (你说让我们停止开车,这点是不可行的,只能说开少些.再一个就是drive是及物动词,直接说drive cars就可以了,urgent是迫切的意思）We can take the subway or ride a bike instead of it. We shouldn’t dump rubbish into the rivers,(should后面接动词原型,所以把你dumping后面的ing给去掉了）or We will easily run out of the limited water to drink .(帮你把continue to dump..into去掉了,因为你前一句也出现dump..into会显得累赘,另外加了一个run out of短语,用尽的意思.在你的water前面加了一个limited,有限的意思,语言表达更加精确.）Considering that Trees can provide us with fresh air and reduce air pollution ,we are not supposed to cut down the trees endlessly.(1.这一句帮你把should改成了are supposed to,它们两个都是应该的意思,这样你的语言成富有变化.2.而且你这句说我们不应该砍树还是有绝对化的问题,所以帮你加了个endlessly,意思是不要无止尽地砍树,这样更加准确.3.还有帮你把后面树可以给我们提供氧气放到前面去了,还加了一个considering that考虑到...,表原因,这样使你的两个句子连接更紧密,逻辑性更强4.give fresh air to us改成了provide us with fresh air 用provide.. with..更加高级一些）. （这一段从这里分开,这一段主要告诉我们从交通,水源,树木方面来保护环境）
We only share one world. therefore,Let's protect the environment together(结尾重申自己保护环境的立场,同时把你的have改成了share,share相当于have in common,共同拥有的,语言更加高级些,还加了一个therefore(因此）,这样语言逻辑性更强.）
总结一下你写这篇作文的一些不足：1.有些词语用的绝对了些,比如：destroy,stop driving cars,stop cutting down trees.2.语言需要更加富有变化,比如：dump into重复了两遍,should也重复了两遍
3.语言可以用得更高级些,如用share代替了have,用provide..with代替了give
4.注意分段,so what we could do前面的要记得分开.这样你的文章脉络就非常清晰了,第一段引入环境污染的现象,第二段告诉我们环境保护的措施,第三段强调重申我们需要环保
我帮你改后的文章：
How to protect the environment
In the last few years, the environment has been damaged seriously. The water gets dirtier and ditier, and the air is not fresh. We will not survive if we don't protect the environment.
So what could we do? First of all, it’s urgent for us to drive cars less. We can take the subway or ride a bike instead of it. We shouldn’t dump rubbish into the rivers,or We will easily run out of the limited water to drink .Considering that Trees can provide us with fresh air and reduce air pollution ,we are not supposed to cut down the trees endlessly
We only share one world. therefore,Let's protect the environment togethe
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