英语作文批改 it goes without saying that the cartoon aims at revea

【As is clearly shown by the cartoon】（加上这个可能好点）,it goes without saying that the cartoon aims at revealing a common （and seriou）（去掉括号里面） pheonmenon in our society : with the rapid development of internet,
（We choose it as the only tool to communicate with others）
唯一的交流工具,不符合现实,应该改为 the essential tool 或者the popular tool
可以改为：The inrernet has become essencial to our life,We choose it as the popular tool to communicate with others
and don't want to do the same thing (in the reality) .
(in the reality) 应该为 in real life
Therefore ,We live much closer than anytime before
yet the distance
（inside of ）改为( between) us (become) further( long )改为 （longer）than anytime before too.

1.samething 应该分开，为 same thing
2.in the reality 是否改为 in reality 更好一些，为固定词组
3.anytime 应该分开，为 any time
4.before之后最好有个逗号隔开
5.further long 改为 much farther 似乎更好一些
6.inside of us 之后是否应该加上一个 is 或 seems

with 改成because of，the internet ，communicating.tool改成way of ，不用long

it goes without saying that the cartoon aims at revealing a common and serious pheonmenon in our society : with the rapid development of internet,We choose it as the only tool to communicate with othe...