帮我评论下我的雅思作文（用雅思的标准）,评分,评语,改正点,越细越好!

帮我评论下我的雅思作文（用雅思的标准）,评分,评语,改正点,越细越好!
If a five-year old commits a crime (any kind), should his/her parents have the responsibility and how punished? what is the age of a child when parents no longer have the responsibility for children's behavior?(题目)
When a child about five years old do a crime,I consider his parents should have the responsibility.Children at this age was too young to understand which behavior is harmful and will hurt others.
As a parent(作为家长),we must look careful at our children and teach them which behaviors will hurt others,we also need to punish them when we found they made something wrong,due to their age was too young,the punishment which was violent should not be use,some punishments look like ban the child eat their favorite food a week or forbid them watch TV several days could be use for punish,it will bring them to recognize their wrong actions,the effect can be significantly and will not left any psychological shadow for them,on other hand,children is good at Imitate others(模仿他人),we should do correct actions in front of them all the time,it will contribute the children to develop correct behaviors.
When a child was get the age of eighteen,I deem we can no longer have the responsibility for children’s actions.Because they are old enough to understand which actions was right and which will made troubles.But we also have the responsibility to care of them,teach them how to deal with the problems they faced.