请给予文法纠正,谢谢高手.Do you have a teacher whom you miss in your hea

请给予文法纠正,谢谢高手.
Do you have a teacher whom you miss in your heart?
The relationship between teachers and students was so close but these days it is getting distant. Students are rarely on the same page with teachers and teachers who make sacrifice for students are gradually lessening. There exists an unseen wall between students and teachers. My dream is to become a teacher who makes the relationship smooth.
Not a conventional teacher, but a teacher of an alternative school. That's what I want to be. There are so many disorderly students whom the conventional school cannot handle and who have no concern in studying. I want to help them begin their new life in an alternative school.
I was also a student who couldn't adjust myself to school. In addition, I had the blues.
As our family moved to a new place in high school, I had no friend. Besides, my family circumstances were getting hard, for which I felt so frustrated, and wanted to die. I needed someone's comfort, but there was nobody around me. I told my situation to my teacher then, but he left me as I was. Frankly I looked to my teacher for help. As that was the first time I experienced such a hard thing I didn't know what to do. But the teacher paid less attention to me than the others.
So I decided to be a teacher of an alternative school. Studying cannot be all in our life. Many schools give preference to the students who do well in grades and pay little attention to those who neglect their schoolwork. But many students are so hard with their own problems that they choose suicide or die. Not schools for the students who do well in school, but schools for the students who have a hard time in their heart with a secret that they can't tell anyone and schools which respect the students' individuality and where they can display their originality. I am going to make that kind of school and work as a teacher in such a school. Please leave your children to me. Thank you very much.
春残花渐落 1年前 已收到1个回答 举报

ljrljr1999 幼苗

共回答了25个问题采纳率:88% 举报

感觉这是一篇作文?而作文的目的是回答一个问题?如果那样,有点文不对题啊,人家问你“怀念的老师是谁?”你却在讲自己想做个多么标新立异的教师,恐怕不对吧.
从文章来看,你英语基础是有的,可惜有点走歪了,把英语当成了纯粹表达中文思维的工具,很多地方是对中文想法的直译,这样的文章老外是看不懂的,比如ALTERNATIVE SCHOOL,DISORDERLY STUDENTS,根本英语里没有这样的表述啊,所以从词和句看都没什么太大问题,可通篇就很难读懂理解.

1年前

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