wait or leave?what are you thinking? I'm so tired. I know I'

wait or leave?
what are you thinking?
I'm so tired.
I know I'm fool but grudge leaving and forgeting
the sound of my heart's broken is so evident don't you hear?
"once seeing him, the heart fall into dust, but bloom from the throne"
Zhang Ailing said these to Hu Chenglan , once when I was child I can't catch on to her,I just feel she's silly, descended because of a traitor, but now I feel envy toward her love, even falling into dust, she is also beatific because she can love a people who loves her. this sense was familiar to me in past, but now I found I have dropped this feeling..I don't know what should I do..