请问这篇英语作文有语法错误之类的吗?

错误比较多
下面是改正过的
My favourite sport
My favourite sport is swimming even though I can't swim.I go for swimming in summer.I go for swimming once a week in summer.I go for swimming with friend,Coco.She is good at swimming.I will work hard to learn to swim.I will become the best in it.Last month,my parents and I went for swimming.We took the bus to the swimming pool.We were happy

文章有罗嗦的毛病。
My favourite sport is swimming, though I can hardly swim. I go swimming once a week in summer. I usually do it with my friend Coco, who is good at swimming. I'm working hard to learn how...